If voting weren't such a big deal, there wouldn't be so many really funny voting quotes and election quotes. So enjoy these while you make a plan to make a difference.
The U.S. is 240 years old. No wonder we have difficulty achieving and maintaining an election.
- Rick Aaron
Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
- James Bovard, Civil Libertarian
We'd all like to vote for the best man, but he's never a candidate.
- Kin Hubbard
America is a place where any kid who grows up and befriends an insane billionaire to buy ads for them can be President.
- Andy Borowitz
Voting for the Libertarian candidate is exactly the same as staying home, except that it involves going outdoors.
- Gail Collins
People come down to Florida all the time. Most of them, sooner or later, decide to leave, but the stupid ones can’t figure out how to do this. So they remain, and in time are issued ballots.
- Dave Barry
The best argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter.
- Winston Churchill
They hold elections in November because it’s the best time for picking out a turkey.
- Maxine (from Hallmark)
I vote because it gives me the right to complain about the outcome.
- WhatserName™ @IamEveryDayPpl
Vote early and vote often.
- Al Capone
If God had wanted us to vote, he’d have given us candidates.
- Jay Leno
We have a presidential election coming up. The big problem, of course, is that someone will win.
- Barry Crimmins
I haven’t voted since 1964, when I voted for Lyndon Johnson, the Peace candidate.
- Gore Vidal
It’s not the voting that’s democracy, it’s the counting.
- Tom Stoppard
Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half have never voted for president. One hopes it is the same half.
- Gore Vidal
In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.
- Mogens Jallberg
I’d never run for president. I’ve thought about it, and the only reason I’m not is that I’m scared no woman would come forward and say she’d had sex with me.
- Garry Shandling
I don't like the idea of a few TV debates deciding the election. That's what the billion dollars of attack ads are for.
- Andy Borowitz
Knowing how protected vital American computer systems are against hackers, I’m waiting for the Election Day the screen tells me my candidate is stuck in Nigeria, and desperately needs a money order to get home and take office.
- Kevin Baker
Perhaps instead of voter ID laws, the USA might want to try voter IQ laws.
- Kelkulus @kelkulus
Elections in the US make us ask the same question we ask of online dating: is this really all that's out there?
- Andy Borowitz
Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?
- Robert Orben
Something I like to do when I'm voting is tell to turn to the person at the stall next to me and whisper, "What did you put for number 3?"
- Abe Yospe @Cheeseboy22
They had us insert our completed ballots into something that looked a lot like a shredder.
- William Ader
In the last election, 95 million people took time off from work to vote, and 60 million of them did.
- Unknown Author
If voting changed anything, they’d make it illegal.
- Emma Goldman
I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.
- W.C. Fields
Our family constitution gives a veto to the women's caucus, and there is no override provision.
- Gov. Mitch Daniels of Indiana, announcing that he would not seek the Republican nomination for president, partly because his wife and four daughters had deep reservations about campaigning.
It's election time, and once again you have to remember, isn't it amazing how many wide open spaces there are, entirely surrounded by teeth?
- Henny Youngman
You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena.
- Jon Stewart
A fool and his money are soon elected.
- Will Rogers
Voting is like choosing your favorite mosquito out of a swarm.
- Maxine, of CrabbyRoad, by Hallmark
Those who cast the votes decide nothing. Those who count the votes decide everything.
- Joseph Stalin
Voting in this election is like trying to decide which street mime to stop and watch.
- Whitney Brown
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