ADVISORY:
The Funny Jokes, Quotes, And Sayings On This Website
Contain Anti-Depressive Material


ADVISORY:
These Funny Jokes, Quotes, And Sayings Contain Anti-Depressive Material.

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Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1

Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1

Funny Jokes: Dog cartoon
Funny Jokes: Dog cartoon


Jokes Of The Day, #2



Jokes Of The Day, #2

Gainful Employment?

True Story: I’m at a party in Florida and chatting with a gal and I ask her what she does.

She says, ”I'm on the bench in Ocala.”

I say, "Oh, so you're homeless."

I never saw a judge laugh so hard.

(Submitted by alert reader Stan Lubowicki)

Peach Brandy

My priest friend has a weakness for peach brandy, so I left a bottle on his desk as a gift. I knew I wouldn't receive a thank you note, since every one of those had to pass through his secretary, who disapproved of alcohol. 

I was very surprised when I opened a note from the parish which read: "Thank you for the thoughtful gift of the peaches; and I greatly appreciate the Spirit in which they were given."

(Submitted by humorous person Mark Berry)




Funny Saying Of The Day

Funny Saying Of The Day

Funny Sayings: You come from dust...
Funny Sayings: You come from dust...


Jokes Of The Day, #3


Jokes Of The Day, #3

Our Baby?

After 5 years, a wife begins to think her son looks nothing like her or her husband, and she decides to have a DNA test done. She learns that their boy is actually from other parents, not even remotely related.

She goes to her husband and says, “Honey, I have something very serious to tell you.”

He says, “Okay, what?”

She says, “According to the DNA test, our son is not our kid.”

He says, “Oh, you don't remember, do you?  When we were coming home from the hospital with him, you noticed that he had pooped. You said, "Please go change the baby, I'll wait for you here.”  So, I went inside, got a clean one, and left the dirty one there.

Moral: Never give a man a job for which he is not qualified.




Funny Comeback Of The Day

Funny Comeback Of The Day

Famous singer to Miriam Hopkins:
"You know, my dear, I insured my voice for fifty thousand dollars."

Miriam Hopkins:
"That's wonderful. And what did you do with the money?"


Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

I grew up in a town so small we didn’t have a town drunk, so we had to take turns.
- Roger Miller


Funny Quote Of The Day

Funny Quote Of The Day

Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.
- W. H. Auden


Funny Jokes Of The Day #4:

St. Patricks Day Parade Coronavirus Costume

St. Pats Day Parade Costume
St. Pats Day Parade Costume

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