Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1
At the end of the funeral, the pallbearers picked up the casket to take it to the hearse. One of the pallbearers tripped, the casket slammed into the side of a doorway, and they heard a moan from inside the casket.
They set it down and it was opened. Amazingly, the 56 year old woman inside was still alive.
She managed to live another 15 years, then passed away.
At the end of her funeral, the pallbearers hoisted the casket and began to take it to the hearse.
Her husband shouted, “Watch out for the doorway!”
Photo submitted by Katy Moore
Here’s a great new turkey recipe, with an foolproof self-timer. It’s impossible to mess this up. You’ll get a perfectly cooked turkey every time.
Preheat the oven to 325. Prepare the turkey, basting it with salt, garlic, butter, and black pepper. In a bowl, combine equal parts stuffing mix and popcorn. Fill the turkey’s cavity with the mixture. Lay the turkey in a greased roasting pan.
Insert the turkey into the oven, with the neck pointing inward. This is very important.
Do not concern yourself with roasting time. When the turkey’s rear end blows the door off the oven, it’s done.
Groucho Marx, upon learning a contestant on "You Bet Your Life" had 10 kids:
"Why so many children?"
Contestant: "Well, Groucho, I love my wife."
Groucho: "I love my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while."
There are two kinds of people in this world: those who believe there are two kinds of people in this world and those who are smart enough to know better.
- Tom Robbins
That money talks, I'll not deny,
I heard it once: it said, ‘Goodbye.'
- Richard Armour
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