ADVISORY:
The Funny Jokes, Quotes, And Sayings On This Website
Contain Anti-Depressive Material


ADVISORY:
These Funny Jokes, Quotes, And Sayings Contain Anti-Depressive Material.

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Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1

Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1

Funny Jokes: Image of New York Post Headline with picture of canned Christmas dinner
Funny Jokes: Image of New York Post Headline with picture of canned Christmas dinner


Jokes Of The Day, #2



Jokes Of The Day, #2

No Wasted Words

Doris Lacey came into the small town newspaper to post an obituary for her husband Jack. The editor remembered Jack, and said it was a shame about his passing. He told her the obits cost a dollar a word.

Being a frugal person, Doris wrote out a two word obituary: “Jack died.”

The editor said he felt like Jack deserved a bit more, and he offered her three more words at no charge.

Doris thanked him and wrote: “Jack died. Boat for sale.”





Funny Saying Of The Day

Funny Saying Of The Day

Great Holiday TV Viewing:

Image of a TV Listing on a satellite channel
Image of a TV Listing on a satellite channel


Jokes Of The Day, #3


Jokes Of The Day, #3

Creative Problem Solving

Two congressmen were standing outside a government building looking up at a flagpole.

A lady walked by and asked what they were doing.

“We need to find out the height of this flagpole," said one congressman, "but we don't have a ladder."

The lady opened her purse, took out a wrench, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground.  Then she took a tape measure from her purse, measured the flagpole and said, "Nineteen feet, ten inches.” And with that she walked off.

One congressman shook his head and said, “Lotta good that does us.  We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"


Funny Comeback Of The Day

Funny Comeback Of The Day

Reticent Hall-of-Fame Detroit Tigers second baseman Charlie Gehringer was introduced at a banquet in a typically grandiose way. He stepped behind the lectern and said:

“I’m known around baseball as saying very little. I’m not going to spoil my reputation.”

Then he sat down.


Funny Quote Of The Day

Funny Quote Of The Day

When it comes to eating, you can sometimes help yourself more by helping yourself less.
- Richard Armour


Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

Of the seven deadly sins, lust is definitely the pick of the litter.
- Tom Robbins


Funny Jokes Of The Day #4:

Okay, But....

Photo of old toilet with sign that says Please Do Not Open This
Photo of old toilet with sign that says Please Do Not Open This

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