Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1
An alert wife and mother goes to the grocery store to stock up on boneless chicken breasts while they’re on sale. But when she gets there, the only ones left are small and skimpy looking.
She complains to the butcher, and he tells her not to worry. He’ll pack up some larger ones and have them ready for her in a few minutes.
Not long after that she hears an announcement on the store loudspeaker:
“Attention shoppers: Will the woman who wants bigger breasts please meet me in the back of the store? Thank you.”
As preparation for the Apollo moon missions, NASA took the astronauts to the South Dakota Badlands for training in the desert. One day, a young Sioux and his grandfather were spotted watching from a distance, and were invited to move closer.
The boy said his grandfather, who spoke only the Sioux tongue, wanted to know what the guys in the heavy suits were doing.
One of the astronauts answered that they were training for a space voyage to the moon in a rocket.
The boy translated for his grandfather, who then replied with a question in the Sioux language. The boy translated, saying his grandfather wanted to know if the astronaut could take a message to the moon for him.
The astronaut, feeling honored, said he could absolutely do that. He asked for a tape recorder and was given one by a NASA staffer.
The Sioux grandfather spoke his message into the recorder. When he finished, the astronaut asked the boy to translate the message for him. But the boy refused.
A few days later the astronaut crew found another guy who could translate it: "Grandmother Moon, be careful. These guys in the big suits, they are coming to steal your land.”
Senator Fritz Hollings, when challenged by Republican Henry McMastor, his opponent for Senate, to take a drug test:
"I'll take a drug test if you'll take an IQ test."
We have a deeply divided body politic. Half of our population believes our elections are broken, the other half believes they are fixed.
- Swami Beyondananda
Some people think I’m crazy. Well, I gotta tell you, it has crossed my minds.
- Mary Carol Beane
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