The Funny Jokes, Quotes, And Sayings On This Website
Contain Anti-Depressive Material

These Funny Jokes, Quotes, And Sayings Contain Anti-Depressive Material.

Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1

Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1

Jokes Of The Day, #2

Jokes Of The Day, #2

Jewel Thief

Judge to defendant:
“I don’t understand this. Explain why you committed three separate break-ins to the same jewelry store and only stole one necklace.”

Crook to judge:
“Because I got it for my wife and she kept making me exchange it.”

Funny Saying Of The Day

Funny Saying Of The Day

Jokes Of The Day, #3

Jokes Of The Day, #3

Infrequent Flyer

A guy is on an airplane for the first time in his life. It’s a redeye from LA to New York. He is really enjoying himself, and marveling at the wonders of air travel.

Somewhere over Colorado the pilot announces, “Folks, it seems we’ve lost an engine. It’s not a problem because we still have three good engines. We’ll just be a half hour late getting into New York.”

The guy wonders about this, but nobody seems upset so he says nothing.

Then somewhere over Illinois the pilot comes on again and says, “Folks, looks like we’ve lost another engine. Nothing to worry about, we still have two good engines. But now we’ll be about an hour late into New York.”

There’s some buzzing from the other passengers, and the guy feels a little nervous about this, but says nothing.

Somewhere over Ohio the pilot gets the passengers’ attention again, and announces,

“Folks, I hate to have to tell you this, but our third engine is giving us some trouble, so we’ve turned it off. This is not an emergency. We still have a very good engine that’ll get us to New York, but it looks like now we’ll be a couple of hours late.”

The guy turns to the woman next to him and says, “Geez! If that last engine goes out, we could be up here all night!”

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Funny Comeback Of The Day

Funny Comeback Of The Day

Father to son:
Are you getting smart with me?

How would you know?

Funny Quote Of The Day

Funny Quote Of The Day

Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves.
- Brendan Behan

Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

Funny Jokes Of The Day #4:


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