Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
buy things for her,
lister to her,
care for her,
stand by her,
go to the ends of the earth for her...
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:
Show up naked.
After a long, difficult operation, Alice ended up in a coma. Despite their best efforts, the surgeons could not wake her.
When her husband Dave came to the intensive care unit to see her, they gave him the bad news.
"We haven’t been able to bring her to consciousness. I’m afraid it doesn't look good,” the doctor said to Dave, in an apologetic tone.
Dave looked at Alice and in a trembling voice said, "But Doc, she's so young. She's only 46.”
"38" came the weak reply from Alice.
Reporter to Shaquille O'Neal after his return from Greece:
"Did you visit the Parthenon?"
"I can't really remember the names of the clubs we went to."
“I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.”
"Military justice is to justice what military music is to music."
- Groucho Marx
You’ve stumbled into the most comical collection of funny jokes, funny quotes, and funny sayings on the planet. Think of it as your Gateway to Big Fun.
No need to slog through dozens of joke sites. The best are right here, whenever you need a hit of humor.
WARNING: The jokes, quotes and sayings on this website exceed humor safety standards and could cause you to squirt latte out your nose.
Click the menu buttons at top for all the categories of jokes, funny quotes, and funny sayings.
OR - for a list of every page, alphabetized by subject, visit the Sitemap.
Feel free to Share,Tweet, Like, or Comment on this page with the easy buttons below and at left.
ADVERTISING ON JOKEQUOTE
For single or multi-page sponsorships,
Contact me here