The Funny Jokes, Quotes, And Sayings On This Website
Contain Anti-Depressive Material

These Funny Jokes, Quotes, And Sayings Contain Anti-Depressive Material.

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Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1

Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1

Jokes Of The Day, #2

Jokes Of The Day, #2

Middle Age Texting

A married couple resisted joining the digital age, but finally decided they should get smartphones and learn how to text each other, so they did.

One early morning the wife was out having coffee with a friend, and decided to text her husband. She sent him a lovely message that read:

“Dear Sweetheart, If you’re still asleep, send me your dreams. If you’re smiling, send me your smile. If you’re laughing, send me your humor. If you’re missing me, send me your wishes.”

A minute later she received this text from her husband:

“What if I'm on the john?”

Funny Headline Of The Day

Funny Headline Of The Day

Jokes Of The Day, #3

Jokes Of The Day, #3

Fish Story

A game warden was making his rounds on the shore of a lake, and caught a teenage boy with a pail of live fish, two months out of season.

“Gonna need a look at your fishing license, Bud,” said the warden.

“Well sir, “said the boy, “I don’t believe I need a license. These are my pet fish.”

“Pet fish? What the hell are you talkin’ about?”

“It’s true, sir. Every couple of days I bring my fish down here and let ‘em go for a swim, then I smack the water three times, they come right back, jump in the pail, and I take ‘em home.”

“Sonny,” said the warden, “I’ve heard some good ones in my time, but that’s the biggest whopper I’ve heard in 20 years. Gonna have to write you up, and it’s a big fine.”

“Sir, please,” said the boy. “Give me a chance to prove it.”

The warden thought for a minute, then said. “All right, prove it. You got two minutes.”

The boy dumped the pail of fish into the lake, and the fish disappeared immediately.

After a couple of minutes, the warden said, “All right, call ‘em back.”

“Call what back?” asked the boy.

“The fish,” said the warden.

“What fish?”

Joke submitted by Stan Lubowicki, Florida

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Funny Comeback Of The Day

Funny Comeback Of The Day

Major Strasser to Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart) In Casablanca:
“What is your nationality?”

“I’m a drunkard.”

Funny Quote Of The Day

Funny Quote Of The Day

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
- Benjamin Franklin

Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain

Funny Jokes Of The Day #4:


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WARNING:  The jokes, quotes and sayings on this website exceed humor safety standards and could cause you to squirt latte out your nose.

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