Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1
A young farm couple and their 5-year-old daughter invited a neighboring couple over for dinner. After the roast chicken, potatoes and green beans, the young daughter was asked to help serve dessert.
She brought a large slice of peach pie from the kitchen to the dining room and placed it in from of her father, who then passed it on to the wife of their neighboring couple.
Then the daughter brought another large piece of peach pie from the kitchen, and again set it in front of her father. He passed it on to the neighboring husband.
The daughter watched this quietly then said, “It’s no use, Daddy. Mommy cut all the pieces the same size.”
I was staying at a nice hotel in Chicago. The coffee shop was supposed to have a good view, so I took my laptop up there to get some work done.
I asked the barista, “What’s your wifi password?”
He said, “Gotta buy a drink first."
I said, “Okay, I’ll have a latte. Big one. No sugar. How much is that?”
He said, “$7.50 plus tax and a 19% service charge.”
I said, “Fine. Put it on my room, number 212. So what’s the wifi password?”
He said, “gottabuyadrinkfirst. All lowercase, no spaces.”
There's more fun below, but first let me ask you:
What would you like to do now?
Enjoy more jokes of the day?
Just scroll down.
Find jokes and quotes by subject?
Check out the left hand column
(Smartphones: click Navigation button)
Preview "Comedy Songs For Smart People"?
Award-winning songs - downloaded over 50,000 times.
Click here to check 'em out
Interviewer to Dolly Parton:
"How long does it take you to have your hair done?"
"I don't know. I'm not there when my hair is done."
Biologically speaking, if something bites you, it is more likely to be female.
- Desmond Morris
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
- Woody Allen
You’ve stumbled into the most comical collection of funny jokes, funny quotes, and funny sayings on the planet. Think of it as your Gateway to Big Fun.
No need to slog through dozens of joke sites. The best are right here, whenever you need a hit of humor.
WARNING: The jokes, quotes and sayings on this website exceed humor safety standards and could cause you to squirt latte out your nose.
Scroll up the red column for all the categories of jokes, funny quotes, and funny sayings. (Smartphones: scroll down to see it, or click the Nav button.)
OR - for a list of every page, alphabetized by subject, visit the Sitemap.
Feel free to Share, Tweet, Like, or Comment on this page with the easy buttons below.
Spice up your week with a healthy dose of comic relief!
Sign up for JokeQuote LAFology:
A monthly email of the best short funny jokes and quotes.
JokeQuote is growing fast!
Over 5,000 visitors a day in just 5 years online.
ADVERTISING ON JOKEQUOTE
For single or multi-page sponsorships,
Contact me here