The Funny Jokes, Quotes, And Sayings On This Website
Contain Anti-Depressive Material

These Funny Jokes, Quotes, And Sayings Contain Anti-Depressive Material.

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Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1

Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1

Jokes Of The Day, #2

Jokes Of The Day, #2

Traffic Trouble

A woman raised chickens out in the country. One year the county paved her road and expanded it into a highway. Suddenly there was lots of traffic. Her free-range chickens were getting run over at the rate of one or two per day.

She complained to the county, so they put up a Deer Crossing sign to slow down the cars. It didn’t work at all.

She complained again, and the county put up a “Slow Down - Hidden Driveway” sign. It seemed the cars went even faster, and she was losing even more chickens.

Finally she asked if she could put up her own sign. The frustrated county officials said yes.

A week later they checked with her. They were surprised to learn her sign was working perfectly. Cars were driving very slowly and she hadn’t lost one chicken.

So the officials went out to investigate and saw this:

Drive carefully and watch for naked chicks.

Funny Saying Of The Day

Funny Saying Of The Day

Jokes Of The Day, #3

Jokes Of The Day, #3

Missing Wife

A guy calls the police station. When they answer, he says, “I think my wife is missing. She drove to the mall last night and she’s still gone.”

The cop says, “Okay sir, we’ll need a description. What’s her height and weight?”

The guy says, “I’m not sure. Medium height, not really thin or heavy.”

Cop: “Hair color?”

Guy: “Can’t remember. She changes it all the time.”

Cop: “Clothing?”

Guy: “Jeans, or maybe a skirt. Maybe a sweater. Could have been a jacket, though.”

Cop: “Eye color?”

Guy: “Oh man, I never actually noticed.”

Cop: “Okay, describe the car.”

Guy: “It’s a BMW Z4, sDrive35is, Metallic Deep Sea Blue, Twin Power Turbo inline 6, with the Kansas Leather seats and HP Package, Light Alloy Double Spoke wheels, and...” (his voice catches) “...a 6-inch scratch on the passenger side where she scraped the garage...” (he starts sobbing)

Cop: “Don’t worry, Buddy. We’ll find your car.”

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Funny Comeback Of The Day

Funny Comeback Of The Day

Reporter to Gandhi:
“What do you think of western civilization?”

“I think it would be a good idea.”

Funny Quote Of The Day

Funny Quote Of The Day

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde

Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.
- David Brent

Funny Jokes Of The Day #4:


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WARNING:  The jokes, quotes and sayings on this website exceed humor safety standards and could cause you to squirt latte out your nose.

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