ADVISORY:
The Funny Jokes, Quotes, And Sayings On This Website Contain Anti-Depressive Material

Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1

Funny Jokes: Image of upside down cat supported by two dogs with caption:


Funny Jokes Of The Day, #2

Computer Error

A father’s computer freezes up, so he calls in his 15 year old son for help.

The son takes a look, clicks a couple of things, and the problem is solved.

The man asks his son, “So what was wrong, anyway?”

The son replies, “No big deal. Just an ID ten T error.”

The dad says, “I’ve never heard of that. What’s an ID ten T error?”

The son says, “Write it down, then it’ll make sense.”

The dad writes it out:  “ID10T”


Funny Saying Of The Day

Newspaper article with headline:


Jokes Of The Day, #3

Speeding Ticket

A cop stops a car going way too fast. He comes to the window and sees a man and woman in the front seat. He tells the man, “You were doing 75 in a 55 mph zone. That’s why I stopped you.”

The man says, “That can’t be, officer. I had my cruise control set on 56. Could your radar be defective?”

The woman is reading a magazine. She looks up and says, “Oh honey, did you forget? This car doesn’t even have cruise control.”

The cop starts writing the guy up. The guy turns to the woman and says, “Could you just be quiet for once?”

She replies, “Well honey, thank God your radar detector is working or you would have been going even faster.”

Now the cop starts writing another ticket for an illegal radar detector.

The guy is furious. He glares at his wife and says, “Just shut up. I mean it!”

The cop says, “I see you’re not wearing your seatbelt. I’m gonna have to write you up for that, too.”

The man says, “Of course I was wearing it. I unbuckled it to give you my wallet.”

The wife pipes up, “Oh honey, don’t be silly. You know you never wear your seatbelt in the car. You’ve told me that a hundred times.”

The guy is boiling over now. He turns to her and says, “Mabel, I’m telling you, just shut up!”

The cop says, “Ma’am, does he always talk to you like this?

She replies, “Only when he’s had too much to drink, officer.”




Funny Comeback Of The Day

Joey Bishop to his TV talk show guest Barry Goldwater:
"Would you like to be a regular on the show?"

Goldwater:
"No thank you. I'd much rather watch you in bed with my wife.”


Funny Quote Of The Day

There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading, the few who learn by observation, the rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.
- Will Rogers


Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

AT&T to wed T-Mobile. Following the ceremony there will be no reception.
- Richard Lerner


Funny Jokes Of The Day #4:

Huh?

Image of a road sign that says:

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