Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1
Henry was reading an article about a gorgeous supermodel marrying a professional wrestler famous for his anti-social behavior, his acting out, and constantly mangling the English language.
He turned to his wife and said, “I’ll never understand how the biggest idiots and jerks get the most beautiful wives.”
She replied, “Why, thank you Honey.”
The rugged old sergeant had been pretty rough on young Private Jones for several months. One day he snarled at the private, “I’ll bet that once you’re out of this army you’ll just be waiting for me to die so you can come back and spit on my grave.”
“NO WAY,” said the private. Once I get out of here I’m never going to stand in line again.”
Yogi Berra told Derek Jeter to stop swinging at terrible pitches.
Jeter replied, “But you swung at 'em.”
“Yeah,” Yogi said, “but I hit ’em.”
"If you're going to kick authority in the teeth, you might as well use two feet."
- Keith Richards
"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base."
- Dave Barry
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