Funny Birthday Wishes
For A Comical Birthday

Funny Birthday Wishes
For A Comical Birthday

Celebrate with humor! Funny birthday wishes, because laughter is the gift that keeps you in the present. Funny quotations for a comical day. Catch some mirth. Honor your birth. For all it's worth!

Free Clean Jokes:
Birthdays, Group 1

When you blow out your candles, make sure your dentures don't wind up in the cake.
When you blow out your candles, make sure your dentures don't wind up in the cake.

Happy Birthday! And don’t worry. Being another day older really only matters if you’re a piece of fruit.

Birthday Question: How old do you have to be before you can start blurting out your ailments to complete strangers?

Have a great time on your birthday, and don’t worry about getting old. That happened years ago.

They say only the good die young.
I guess that means we’ll be around forever!

Funny Birthday Wishes
Group 2

During a typical lifetime, people spend:
    2 years waiting at stop lights
    3 years on the phone with tech support
    5 years in the bathroom
So a few extra days waiting for your birthday present is nothing!

Einstein said that not everything that can be counted counts.
And not everything that counts can be counted.
So stop counting and have a great birthday.
Age is relative!
(I think he said that, too.)

If you wind up in jail after your birthday, here’s how you can tell who your friends are:
    Your good friends will visit you.
    Your great friends will come up with bail money.
    Me? I’ll be in the lower bunk.

Embarrassing birthday for guys:
Your friends hire a stripper, and it turns out to be your Aunt Marge, moonlighting for extra cash.

Free Clean Jokes:
Birthdays, Group 3

Growing old is compulsory. Growing up is optional.
Growing old is compulsory. Growing up is optional.

Happy Birthday! So how old are you now?
(I‘m talking about the parts you were born with.)

Somebody told me you were hard to buy a present for.
But heck, I know where the dollar store is.

On your birthday, resist the temptation to indulge in magical thinking.
Buying a size 4 swimsuit will not make you thinner.

The most important rule for getting a birthday tattoo:
if you want to show it to people, put it someplace where you won’t have to take off your pants.

Birthdays are when you find out who your friends are.
Good news: Everybody I talked to was willing to chip in on this card.

My budget is shot, so I figure the best way I can make your birthday really special is to give you some rug burns.

Funny Quotations:
Birthdays, Group 4

Close your eyes, make a wish, and if you wait long enough, you’ll get exactly what you want: all the kids out of the house.
- Melanie White

Of course I believe in miracles.
I remembered your birthday, didn’t I?
- Melanie White

If all grandmas looked as good as you, nobody would care if they baked cookies.
- Melanie White

We don’t let Grandpa blow out his candles anymore since the year his dentures wound up in the cake.
- Greg Tamblyn

Funny Birthday Wishes:
Group 5

Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
- Anonymous

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.
- Jim Fiebig

Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.
- Franklin Pierce Adams

There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents ... and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

You know you’ve had a great party when you wake up wondering:

    Whose yard is this?
    How did I get these tattoos?
    Where are my clothes?

Happy Birthday! Let’s do something different!
You can be on the bottom.

On your birthday lets try something we never tried before:

Now check out the Video Joke of the Day...

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MilkSnort! the Joke Game

The Easiest Way To Have A Hilarious Party

Click Here

Copyright Notice:

All quotations by Greg Tamblyn and Melanie White are copyrighted,
unique to this site, and may only be used with permission. Thank you.

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