Funny Birthday Phrases
For A Hilarious Birthday

Funny birthday phrases for all the crazy ages of life. Funny birthday sayings and short clean jokes for every kind of birthday folks. Enjoy!

Funny Birthday Sayings
Group 1

Banner with funny birthday phrase: "Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs."

Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is a mystery.
Laughter is the gift that keeps you in the present.
- Greg Tamblyn

I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it.
- Eva Gabor

Today is your birthday, so congratulate yourself, especially if you’re still young enough to remember it.
- Melanie White

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
- Ogden Nash

Funny Birthday Phrases
Group 2

A real friend always remembers your birthday and forgets how old you are.
- Anonymous

For your birthday, I wanted to give you your heart’s desire . . . but she wouldn’t return my calls.
- Melanie White

Birthday: The day God said, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're starring in a new play, and it’s all about you. The bad news is there’s no script. You have to make it up as you go. Good luck!"
- Greg Tamblyn

Getting older is a piece of cake. It’s blowing out all the candles that gets harder every year.
- Melanie White

What did the psychic say to the older bald man on his birthday?
“I see an ear hair transplant in your future.”

A woman’s age is harder to get than the President’s phone number.
- Greg Tamblyn

Hope your birthday has a bright side! (But if it’s a bright light, off in the distance, you might want to turn around, quick.)

"To make your birthday truly unforgettable, we put bees in your pinata!"

Short Clean Jokes:
Birthdays, Group 3

When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.
- Unknown Author

Tip for guys: if her big day somehow slips your mind, just say, “How can I possibly remember your birthday when you look younger every year?”
- Greg Tamblyn

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
- Mary Schmich

I know you don’t want to be reminded that it’s your birthday. But at your age, how else will you remember?
- Melanie White

Forget yesterday, it’s over.
Forget tomorrow, it’s iffy.
Forget the present too, ‘cause I forgot to get you one.

Funny Birthday Phrases
Group 4

Birthdays are the one day in the year when you can guarantee that everyone who knows you - your family, friends, and colleagues at work - will completely forget about you.
-Guy Browning

At twenty a man is a peacock, at thirty a lion, at forty a camel, at fifty a serpent, at sixty a dog, at seventy an ape, and at eighty nothing.
- Baltasar Gracian

New Year's Day is every man's birthday.
- Charles Lamb

Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake.
- Edward Morykwas

Just remember, it’s better to pay full price than to admit you’re a senior citizen.
- Melanie White

Birthday: The anniversary of the day God slapped you on the butt and said, "Okay Kid, go get in the game. Play hard, play fair, and don’t get too many penalty flags."
- Greg Tamblyn

Funny birthday phrases: "How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?" - Satchel Paige

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