Funny Birthday Card Sayings
For Your Own Funny Cards And Gifts!

Funny Birthday Card Sayings
For Your Own Funny Cards And Gifts!


Card store a bore? No more! These Funny Birthday Card Sayings will free you from that chore. Humorous birthday wishes to inflict on all your loved ones. Enjoy!


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Funny Birthday Card Sayings
Group 1

Yesterday is history
Tomorrow is a mystery
Laughter is the gift
That keeps you in the present.
Yesterday is history
Tomorrow is a mystery
Laughter is the gift
That keeps you in the present.

When we were younger we used to get around. Now we’re just round.

4 out of 5 dogs say you should have fun on your birthday. The 5th says catch a squirrel.  And wishes you many slow and stupid squirrels.

On your birthday, you don't have to rock n roll all night anymore, but it is great to potty every day.

Everyone gets to be young once.
Your turn's over.


Funny Birthday Card Sayings
Group 2


Admitting your real age to people demonstrates your honesty, bravery, and more importantly, some memory cells still work.
- Greg Tamblyn

Happy Birthday. For your midlife crisis we can’t decide whether to buy you a Porsche or one of those wallets with a chain.
- JEFF NEWTON @yonewt

In infancy, the milk bottle
In our prime, the wine bottle
In our dotage, the pill bottle
- Mary Roberts Rinehart

It's the day of your birth
So for what it's worth
I hope you get presents
And enjoy the presence
Of things that are funny
And a little extra money!
- Unknown Author

Good News! To make sure you have the most exciting birthday ever, we put bees in your piñata!

Timmy's Birthday Wish: I hope you get Froot Loops for breakfast, no homework at school, and all your toys work good.



Funny Birthday Card Sayings
Group 3

Good news and bad news on your birthday:
The good news is you’ll be talking about this party for years!
The bad news is your cake is on fire and the clown is dead.

Don't worry about getting older.
At this point you need to worry about getting a date.

Happy birthday. At your age, you’re way past John, Paul, and George.
But Ringo's starting to look pretty good.

Good Birthday News:
The entire Albanian Skeet Shooting & Polka team is coming to your party!

You know you're getting older when your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.



Funny Birthday Card Sayings
Group 4

You know you're getting older when your wild oats have turned to shredded wheat.

When you’re older, you have a lot more than you used to – especially aches and pains.
- Melanie White

Birthdays are not the time to focus on how old you are.
How old are you anyway?
- Melanie White

Old is only in your mind – especially when you can’t remember your age.
- Melanie White

You should should stop counting birthdays when you run out of fingers and toes.
- Melanie White


Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.


Funny Birthday Card Sayings

Group 5

Now that you’re 21, I’m sure you’ll miss the good old days when you were a teenager.
- Melanie White

I didn’t forget your birthday! Let’s face it; at our age, it’s amazing we can get out of bed much less remember anything.
- Melanie White

You know you’re too old when your birthday party theme is to stay sober.
- Melanie White

You’re not old as long as you still have all your teeth. (Hockey players are exempt.)
- Melanie White


Funny Birthday Card Sayings
Group 6

Have you ever noticed that even though life may be unpredictable, birthdays come around like clockwork?
- Melanie White

How about a nice candlelight dinner to celebrate your birthday? Considering the number of candles on your cake, you’ll for sure be able to see your food.
- Melanie White

For your birthday, I wish you what everyone wants at our age: a good night’s sleep. In other words, one where you don’t have to get up to go to the bathroom.
- Melanie White

You know they say giving is better than receiving, so on your birthday, is there anything you’d like to give me?
- Melanie White

I know you’re getting older, but I’m getting hungry. Do you really have to only blow out one birthday candle at a time?
- Melanie White

Have a really sweet birthday! (Cake, ice cream, brownies, pie…)
- Melanie White

I grabbed a pile of dust, and holding it up, foolishly asked for as many birthdays as the grains of dust, I forgot to ask that they be years of youth.
- Ovid


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