These Halloween jokes for kids are slick as a trick and sweet as a treat:
One-Liners and more. Enjoy!
Links to more Halloween humor at bottom of page.
Share your own jokes or feedback in the Comment box.
A little boy is shopping with his mother for Halloween costumes, and decides on a skeleton.
His mother asks, “Why the skeleton?”
He says, “I’ll look like I’m starved and people will give me more candy.”
A Sunday school teacher had a Bible-character pumpkin carving contest for her kids. She told them they could get their whole family involved if they wanted.
The next week one little boy won the prize with a spectacular pumpkin carved like Samson.
The teacher asked him if he’d had some help from his parents.
“No,” the boy said. “It was my Grandpa. I think he has a good memory.”
A grandma was telling her grandson, “In the good old days we couldn’t afford Halloween costumes, we had to make our own. And we walked a long way to go trick-or-treating. And everybody had home-made candy, not these enormous expensive candy bars like nowadays.”
Her grandson replied, “So why do you call them the good old days?”
Q: What’s Dracula's favorite inland waterway?
A: The Eerie Canal.
Q: How does Frankenstein's like his coffee?
Q: What’s the Mummy’s favorite music?
Q: What’s a spooky spirit’s favorite attraction at the carnival?
A: The roller ghoster.
Q: How come the skeleton never danced at the Halloween party?
A: He had no body to dance with.
Q: How does The Werewolf cook his eggs?
Q: What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Q: Who are some of The Werewolf's cousins?
A: The Whatwolf, the Whenwolf, and the Whywolf.
Q: What do you say when you meet a three headed monster?
A: "Hello. Hello. Hello."
Q: What’s a little ghost's favorite game?
Q: What’s a vampire's favorite holiday?
Q. What’s worse than finding a worm in your Halloween caramel apple?
A. Half a worm.
Q. How do you make a skeleton laugh?
A. By tickling his funny bone.
Q. Why couldn't the ghost find his mom and dad?
A. Because they were trans-parents.
Q. Why was the mushroom invited to the Halloween party?
A. Cause he’s a fungi. (fun guy)
Q. Why did the fungi leave the party?
A. Because there wasn't mushroom!
Q: How come Dracula keeps his bandages in the fridge?
A: For cold cuts.
Q. What do you call a head with no body and no nose?
A. Nobody knows.
Q. What does a cow with a cold say?
Q. Did you hear about the invisible woman who married the invisible man?
A. Yeah, their kids aren't much to look at either.
Q. What do you get when you run over a goose?
A. Goose bumps!
Q. Why did the wizard always fly off the top of the house?
A. He had a broom with a view.
Two Halloween cookies are in an oven. One says to the other, “It’s getting hot in here.”
The other says, “OMG A TALKING COOKIE!”
Did you hear about the witch who lost her left side? She's all right.
To a kid, an outhouse at night is the same thing as a haunted mansion.
All quotations and other content by Greg Tamblyn and Melanie White are copyrighted, unique to this site, and may not be used without permission.
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