Clever Quotes About Books

Quotes about books, from clever to comical. Fun to read at any speed, guaranteed. An open book leads to an open mind. Hopefully.

Funny Book Quotes
Group 1

Image of cartoon bookworm on stack of books with caption: "The great thing about books is there are no commercials."

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
- P.J. O’Rourke

If good books did good, the world would have been converted long ago.
- George Moore

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
- Woody Allen

One trouble with developing speed reading skills is that by the time you realize a book is boring you've already finished it.
- Franklin P. Jones

Quotes About Books
Group 2

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
- George Burns

There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them.
- Joseph Brodsky

Never lend books, for no one ever returns them; the only books I have in my library are books that other folks have lent me.
- Anatole France

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.
- Robert Benchley

I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
- Frank Zappa

Quotes About Books, Group 3

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading contest. I hit a bookmark.
- Stephen Wright

Sure reading a book under a tree is peaceful but imagine how stressful it is for the tree to see a bunch of it's dead friends in your hand.
- Kyle Lippert @Kyle_Lippert

My wife joined a book club. They primarily read wine labels.
- Unknown Author

That "...for Dummies" publisher rejected my ventriloquism book.
- Just Bill ‏@WilliamAder

A library is a place where you can lose your innocence without losing your virginity.
- Germaine Greer

Quotes About Books

Group 4

Quotes About Books: Image of woman wearing graduation cap in bookstore, with caption: "The more sins you confess, the more books you will sell."

A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton

I heard that Amazon has started a program to try to get people to trade in their old bound books to get an electronic reader. They call it “Kindling.”
- Kate Deimling

Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers.
- Harry S Truman

Reading made Don Quixote a gentleman. Believing what he read made him mad.
- George Bernard Shaw

People can lose their lives in libraries. They ought to be warned.
- Saul Bellow

Quotes About Books
Group 5

One advantage reading books has over TV is you can’t read books and do housework at the same time.
- Melanie White

I’ve often thought of writing my autobiography and selling it as a cure for insomnia.
- Melanie White

My wife doesn’t watch soap operas. She’s too busy reading romance novels.
- Melanie White

As a pioneer in free ebooks more than ten years ago, I feel like I have to keep up, hence my announcement today that to go with the new Kindle Zero, the free edition of my new book comes with a new Buick LeSabre or a large fig newton, your choice. While supplies last, one per customer.
- Seth Godin

Books to the ceiling,
Books to the sky,
My pile of books is a mile high.
How I love them!
How I need them!
I'll have a long beard by the time I read them.
- Arnold Lobel

Image of little kid with caption by Randy Glasbergen: "It's called reading. It's how people install new software into their brains."

Quotes About Books
Group 6: Bookstores

No one ever shouts in a bookstore.
- Lillian Jackson Braun

It is clear that the books owned the shop rather than the other way about. Everywhere they had run wild and taken possession of their habitat, breeding and multiplying, and clearly lacking any strong hand to keep them down.
- Agatha Christie

When I visit a new bookstore, I demand cleanliness, computer monitors, and rigorous alphabetization. When I visit a secondhand bookstore, I prefer indifferent housekeeping, sleeping cats, and sufficient organizational chaos.
- Anne Fadiman

What do I miss? Second-hand bookshops where I can find things I had no idea I wanted.
- David Mitchell

I have gone to [this bookshop] for years, always finding the one book I wanted - and then three more I hadn't known I wanted.
- Mary Ann Shaffer

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