Funny kid jokes to wake up the kid in all of us. If you have kids old enough to read, they’re probably old enough to get a giggle out of these short clean jokes. (Almost squeaky clean.)
Links to more kid jokes at bottom of page.
Share your own jokes or feedback in the Comment box.
A four-year-old boy was typing away on his dad’s computer.
Daddy asked him what he was doing, and the boy said he was writing a bedtime story.
The dad loved this, and asked what it was about.
"I don't know," the boy said. "I can't read."
A young girl observed that her mother had some strands of gray in her hair and was intrigued by this. So like kids do, she came right out and asked about it.
"Mommy, how come you have some white hairs in there with the black ones?”
Her mother thought about this for a second, then smiled and said, "Honey, it’s like this. Whenever you do something you know you shouldn’t do and it makes me unhappy, another one of my hairs turns from black to white."
The young daughter took this in, then asked, "Mommy, why are ALL of granny’s hairs white?"
A little girl came running out of the bathroom and yelled, “Mom, I dropped my toothbrush in the toilet.”
Her mom retrieved it and tossed it in the trash. Seeing this, the little girl ran to her mom’s bathroom and returned with her mother’s toothbrush.
She said, "Should we put this one in the trash too? It fell in the toilet a few days ago."
An second grader came home and told her mom that after school a boy in her class had kissed her.
Her mother was shocked but tried to stay calm. “How was it that happened?” she asked.
"It wasn't easy," her little daughter answered. "I needed three other girls to help me hold him on the ground."
A little girl and her mom were enjoying Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs on DVD. When the wicked queen came on screen, made up as an old lady who was selling apples, the little girl was riveted.
Soon, Snow White innocently started eating one of the poisoned apples. When she collapsed from the poison, the little girl said, "Gosh, Mom. Show White’s just like me. She hates the apple skin too."
A grandfather was out walking with his seven-year-old granddaughter. He was thinking how much he loved these outings, and said, “You know, in ten years you’ll be seventeen. You’ll probably have lots of boyfriends and you might not want to go biking, walking, and sailing with me like we do now.”
She said “Grandpa, in ten years you'll be too old to do all those things anyway.”
Short Clean Jokes: "The Wheelchair"
An elderly man in a wheelchair was rolled into a doctors office by an elderly woman. The woman stopped at the desk and started talking to the clerk.
Meanwhile, the older man sat, alone and quiet, in the wheelchair. A little girl slid off her mother's lap and came to the man in the wheelchair.
She said, “Don’t be sad. My mom makes me ride in the stroller too.”
My sister-in-law was toilet training her two year old daughter. As they were finishing up, and mom started to flush the toilet, my niece cried, “Wait, Mom!”
Then she looked in the toilet and said, “Goodbye, poop. Did you like being in me?
Funny Kid Jokes: "Nursing"
A kindergardner bounced into a room where his aunt was nursing her baby. He’d never seen this before, and stopped, fascinated.
He asked his aunt what she was doing and his aunt replied, “I’m breast-feeding my baby.”
The little boy thought about this for a minute, then said, “Mom has some of those too, but she doesn’t know how to use them.”
Short Clean Jokes: "The Answer"
One day a boy asked his dad, “I know that little babies are inside mommies' tummies before they come out, but how do they get in there?”
The dad smiled, tried to think of an answer his son could understand, but was taking awhile.
Finally the little boy said, “Dad, you don't have to make up an answer. It's okay if you don't know.”
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