Funny Nature Quotes, Funny Earth Day Quotes

It's your planet, you can laugh about it! Funny Nature Quotes, Earth Day Quotes, camping quotes, global warming quotes to help you have a sense of humor about your Mother.

Funny Nature Quotes, Group 1

Funny nature Quotes. Banner with caption: "I'd liek to connect with nature but there's no USB port." - Dan Masso

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
- Robert Orben

Nowadays when people want a breath of fresh air, they go to an oxygen bar.
- Melanie White

What do these beautiful places have in common: Yukon, Tahoe, Sedona, Sierra, Santa Fe, Sorrento, Denali, Acadia?  They were all named after SUVs.
- Greg Tamblyn

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.
- Bill Vaughan

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.
- David Letterman

Funny Earth Day Quotes

Banner with caption: "There is a dearth of mirth about Earth Day" - Greg Tamblyn

Hugged a tree for Earth Day and heard it whisper, "I have a boyfriend."
- Just Bill ‏@WilliamAder

I was trying to think what to get the Planet for Earth Day, and I found this super little birdbath and cheddar combo from Larry’s Lawn Ornaments and Cheese Shop.
- Greg Tamblyn

For Earth Day, turn on your air conditioner and open your doors and windows. If we all work together, we can totally cool this planet.
- Kelkulus ‏@kelkulus

It's Earth Day? Crap. I totally forgot to get it anything.
- Aristotles ‏@AristotlesNZ

It’s #EarthDay! Take a minute to appreciate the world around you. Pet a squirrel. Scatter sunflower seeds around your home. Wash a tree.
- Ellen DeGeneres

"Already have it."
"Got this, too."
"I have a zillion of these."
(Planet Earth, opening gifts on Earth Day)
- Just Bill @WilliamAder

Funny Nature Quotes: Camping

Banner with caption: "Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business." - Dave Barry

I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.

- Fran Lebowitz

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
- George Carlin

Camping is a humanitarian effort to help feed hungry mosquitoes.
- Melanie White

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.
- Dave Barry

Do you like crying and walking at the same time? A nature hike might be for you.
- meatshirt ‏@prettysadmostly

My idea of camping is falling asleep on the couch with the window open.
- Clarke Kant ‏@clarkekant

I'd go camping, but I've made the decision not to go places where I need to bring my own toilet paper.
- Elizabeth is Ruined ‏@Elizasoul80

Funny Nature Quotes:
Global Warming

Banner with caption: "Global Warming: all the cool planets are doing it."

I used so much hairspray that I feel personally responsible for global warming.
- Dusty Springfield

I recently received a letter from a reader who theorizes that global warming may be related to the alarming increase in pizza ovens, especially in New Jersey.
- Dave Barry

True, for the past few generations the planet has become warmer. On the other hand, every generation is cooler than their parents.
- Steve Bhaerman (Swami Beyondananda)

What do we want? To end Global Warming! When do we want it? Before it was cool! (Hipster protest rally)
- prontopup ‏@prontopup

I bet secretly Mother Earth is pretty pleased about how hot she's getting.
- prontopup ‏@prontopup

Climate change deniers are like the kids who still thought their parents really disappeared when playing peekaboo when they were eight.
- Earthman Adam ‏@AdamOfEarth

The same people who think climate change isn't real think wrestling is.
- Julius Sharpe ‏@juliussharpe

Even if the average temperature does rise by 2 degrees Celsius, it won't affect America because we (wisely, it turns out!) use Fahrenheit.
- Just Bill ‏@WilliamAder

Funny Nature Quotes, Group 5

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
- Steven Wright

Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.

- Fran Lebowitz

Nature: where you can get away from everyone, except yourself.
- Melanie White

Winter is my favorite time of year. Everything I’m allergic to is dead.
- Robert Waldo Brunelle Jr.

A man’s idea of “communing with Nature” is barbecuing.
- Melanie White

Funny Nature Quotes, Group 6

Both the cockroach and the bird would get along very well without us, although the cockroach would miss us most.  
- Joseph Wood Krutch

A lawn is nature under totalitarian rule.
- Michael Pollan

Communing with Nature is a lot harder when you’re allergic to it.
- Melanie White

We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.
- Bill Vaughan

Going on a hike is like having your car break down but on purpose.
- John Lyon ‏@JohnLyonTweets

Funny Nature Quotes, Group 7

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.
- Bill Watterson

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.
- Doug Larson

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.
- Robert Benchley

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
- Woody Allen

They tell you that a tree is only a combination of chemical elements. I prefer to believe that God created it, and that it is inhabited by a nymph.

- Pierre-Auguste Renoir

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