Funny Inspirational Quotes

Funny Inspirational Quotes

Funny inspirational quotes to lift you into the laughter zone. Humorous quotations that put the fun in inspiration. Use 'em on anybody who needs ‘em, including you!

Links to more quotes like this at bottom of page.
ADVISORY: These quotes contain Anti-Depressive material.

Funny Quotations:
Inspiration, Group 1

Funny Quotations:
Inspiration, Group 1

1. It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
- Fred Allen

2. You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
- Steven Wright

3. The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
- Franklin P. Jones

4. If you are afraid of being lonely, don't try to be right.
- Jules Renard

5. When you battle with your conscience and lose, you win.
- Henny Youngman

6. You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward.
- James Thurber

Funny Inspirational Quotes

7. Don't mind your make-up, you'd better make your mind up.
- Frank Zappa

8. Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
- Winston Churchill

9. Money won't make you happy ... but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar

10. People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
- Will Rogers

11. Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain

12. When I hear someone sigh that life is hard, I am tempted to ask, ‘compared to what?'
- Sydney Harris

Funny Inspirational Quotes
Group 3

13. One thing you will probably remember well is any time you forgive and forget.
- Franklin P. Jones

14. Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

15. When you're out of willpower you call on stubbornness, that's the trick.
- Henri Matisse

16. Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.
- La Rochefoucald

17. If you let your head get too big, it'll break your neck.
- Elvis Presley

18. The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
- Will Rogers

Funny Inspirational Quotes

19. If you're going through hell, keep going.
- Winston Churchill

20. A peacock that rests on his feathers is just another turkey.
- Dolly Parton

21. You must pay for your sins.
If you have already paid, please ignore this notice.
- Sam Levenson

22. I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.
- Will Rogers

23. Hating people is like burning down your own home to get rid of a rat.
- Harry Emerson Fosdick

24. The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent upon it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the universe to do.
- Galileo Galilei

Funny Quotations:
Inspiration, Group 5

25. Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.
- Dwight Eisenhower

26. A good time for laughing is when you can.
- Jessamyn West

27. In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; In practice, there is.
- Chuck Reid

28. Live each day like it's your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night.
- Jason Love ‏@jasonlovetwit

29. It's okay to look at the past and the future. Just don't stare.
- Anonymous

30. There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through... There needs to be a monster truck option.
- Jeph Jacques

Funny Quotations:
Inspiration, Group

31. Laughter is a weapon of mass construction.
- Kat Caverly

32. You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
- Jack London

33. Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous
- Albert Einstein

34.There is a dearth of mirth on the earth.
- Bill Nelson

35. Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.
- Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

36. Follow your dreams, except for the one where you're naked in church.
- Rev. David Ault

Short Clean Jokes:
Inspiration, Group 7

37. It's good to shut up sometimes.
- Marcel Marceau (famous mime)

38. You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.
- Sam Levenson

39. It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water.
- Franklin P. Jones

40. Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history.
- George Bernard Shaw

41. Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.
- Franklin P. Jones

42. Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

43. Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not.
- Vaclav Havel

Inspirational Quotes
Group 8

44. I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell.
- Harry S Truman

45. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
- Mark Twain

46. I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
- Mark Twain

47. I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
- Mark Twain

48. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
- Mark Twain

49. There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
- Mark Twain

50. Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.
- Anonymous

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