ADVISORY:
These Funny Jokes, Quotes, and Sayings Could Make You Squirt Latte out Your Nose.


Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1



Funny Jokes Of The Day, #2

Missing Wife

A guy calls the police station. When they answer, he says, “I think my wife is missing. She drove to the mall last night and she’s still gone.”

The cop says, “Okay sir, we’ll need a description. What’s her height and weight?”

The guy says, “I’m not sure. Medium height, not really thin or heavy.”

Cop: “Hair color?”

Guy: “Can’t remember. She changes it all the time.”

Cop: “Clothing?”

Guy: "Jeans, or maybe a skirt. Maybe a sweater. Could have been a jacket, though.”

Cop: “Eye color?”

Guy: “I never actually noticed.”

Cop: “Okay, describe the car.”

Guy: “It’s a BMW Z4, sDrive35is, Metallic Deep Sea Blue, Twin Power Turbo inline 6, with the Kansas Leather seats and HP Package, Light Alloy Double Spoke wheels, and...” (his voice catches) “...a six inch scratch on the passenger side where she scraped the garage...” (he starts crying...)

Cop: “Don’t worry, Buddy. We’ll find your car.”


Funny Jokes Of The Day, #3

Lunch At Hooters

A guy is trying to keep his eyes on his menu at Hooters, but the waitresses are all hot. Finally one of them comes over and asks him what he’d like.

He smiles, looks her over, and answers, “I’ll have a quickie.”
She mutters, “Oh, brother,” and walks off.

Eventually she comes back to his table and asks, “Okay now, what would you like to order?”

He looks her over again, top to bottom, and says, “I told you, a quickie.”

Tired of this nonsense, she loses her cool, slaps him hard, and stomps off.

A guy at the next table says, “Hey buddy, I think it’s pronounced ‘quiche.’”




There's more fun to come, but first let me ask you:

What would you like to do now?

Enjoy more jokes of the day?
Just scroll down.

Find jokes and quotes by subject?
Check out the left hand column
(Smartphones: click Navigation button)

Find Funny Gifts?
Have a look:
Custom Funny Movie Trailers
Normally Peculiar: Funny Short Stories (eBook)
Funny Birthday Wishes (eBook)
Top Ten Funny Songs




Funny Comeback Of The Day

Guy: "I'm pretty sure I've seen you at another place."
Girl: "You have. That's why I never go there."


Funny Quote Of The Day

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise.
- Unknown Author


Funny Saying Of The Day

Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers.
What you do today might burn your butt tomorrow.


Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

They say we only use ten percent of our brain. Just imagine if we used the other sixty percent.
- Ellen Degeneres


Funny Jokes Of The Day, #4:


Congratulations!

You’ve stumbled into the most comical collection of funny jokes, funny quotes, and funny sayings on the planet. Think of it as your gateway to Big Fun.

No need to slog through dozens of joke sites. The best are right here, whenever you need a hit of humor.

WARNING: This website contains anti-depressive material.

Scroll up the red column for all the categories of jokes, funny quotes, and funny sayings. (Smartphones: scroll down to see it.)

OR - for a list of every page, alphabetized by subject, visit the Sitemap.

Feel free to Share, Tweet, or Comment on this page with the easy buttons below.


LAUGHOLOGY TIP:

Spice up your week with a healthy dose of comic relief!
Sign up for JokeQuote Laughology:
A twice-monthly email of the best short funny jokes and quotes.

Enter Your E-mail Address
Enter Your First Name (optional)
Then

Don't worry — your e-mail address is totally secure.
I promise to use it only to send you JokeQuote Laughology.


UPDATE:
JokeQuote is growing fast!
Over 3,500 visitors a day in only 2 years online.
Thank you!

NOTE:  There is only one way to build a website that attracts this kind of traffic naturally, without using techno tricks or spending money on ads. Thousands of us have done it, and you can too.

It's called SBI! Click here and watch the video.


Share ~ Comment ~ Like ~ Tweet ~ Follow

New! Comments

Have your say! All comments are digested and moderated by the Head Laughologist.
Subscribe here for JokeQuote Laughology! Get the funniest jokes and quotes -- every two weeks! Your email:
Your first name
Then

Don't worry — your e-mail address is totally secure.
I promise to use it only to send you JokeQuote Laughology.