Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1
Mario gets his buddy Paul a blind date. But Paul is worried he might not find the woman attractive, and could be stuck with her for hours.
Mario says, “Look, if you really don’t like her, just fake an asthma attack. You’ll be off the hook.”
So Paul goes to pick up his blind date at her home. When she answers the door, she turns out to be stunning. Paul can’t believe his luck.
Suddenly his date starts gasping for breath and wheezes, “Sorry .... gotta cancel .... asthma...!”
A doctor was leaving for an afternoon conference. His new young assistant was fresh out of med school. He was smart, but not exactly wise in the ways of the world.
“Are you sure you can handle my patients this afternoon?” asked the doc.
“No problem. Got it covered,” replied the assistant.
The next morning the doctor asked his assistant how things went the previous day.
“Well the first patient had a skin rash so I gave him some ointment.”
“Very good,” said the doc.
“The second patient had a swollen jaw, so I have him pain meds and an ice pack.”
“Excellent,” replied the doc.
“Then a woman came in, threw off all her clothes, and said, ‘I haven’t seen a man in five years!'”
“Oh my God!” said the doc. “What did you do?”
“Well, I referred her to an optometrist.”
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Paul. a recent navy picture had Admiral Zumwalt kissing Admiral Duirk. Why?
Too long at sea!
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning.
- George W Bush
A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on."
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