These Funny Jokes, Quotes, and Sayings could make you squirt latte out your nose.

Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1

Joke Of The Day #2

Boys' Operation

A 7 year old boy and a 4 year old boy are talking. The 4 year old tells the older boy he has to go to the doctors office the next day.

“What for?” asks the older boy.

“Something called circumcision,” says the younger boy.

"Oh man,” says the 7 year old. “That’s too bad.”

“Why?” asks the younger boy. “Does it hurt?”

“Does it hurt! They did that to me when I was born, and I couldn’t walk for 12 months!”

Joke Of The Day #3

A mother who was six months pregnant with her third child, was in the shower when her three year old walked in. The three year old said, "Mommy, you're getting fat."

The mother replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby in her tummy."

The three year old replied, "I know, but what's in your butt?"

Submitted by JokeQuote reader Lisa Scott, Florida, USA

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Funny Comeback Of The Day

Irritated mother: “I'm just trying to raise you so that when you grow up you're not ignorant."
Angry teenage daughter: "I wish Grandma had done the same thing!"

Funny Quote Of The Day

To you I’m an atheist. To God, I’m the loyal opposition.
- Woody Allen

Funny Saying Of The Day

Ever stop to think....and forget to start again?

Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

When your children are teenagers it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.
Nora Ephron

Funny Joke Of The Day #4


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