Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1
A lady who didn’t see as well as she used to thought she spied a friend dining alone across a restaurant. So she walked over to ask if her friend wanted some company. But when she got to the table she realized she was mistaken.
As the other woman looked up from her dinner, the first lady said, “Excuse me, I’m so sorry, but you look like Helen Brown.”
”Oh I know,” said the woman. “But I just moved here and the rest of my clothes haven’t arrived yet.”
Hi. Emily’s voicemail is on the fritz. This is her refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
Hi there, it’s Sam and Susie. We’re busy doing something we love. Susie loves it up and down, I love it back and forth, and we both like to take our time, So leave your name, and one of us will call you back when we’re finished brushing our teeth.
Hello, is this someone with good news or money? If so, leave a message. If not, please go get some and call again.
Jeffrey's Home for the Bewildered. What's your question?
Hi, it’s Barb. I'm avoiding someone. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
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Actress to author Ilka Chase:
I enjoyed reading your book. Who wrote it for you?
I’m so glad you enjoyed it. Who read it to you?
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech - every now and then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible things. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
- Unknown Author
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