ADVISORY:
The Funny Jokes, Quotes, And Sayings On This Website
Contain Anti-Depressive Material
.

ADVISORY:
These Funny Jokes, Quotes, And Sayings Contain Anti-Depressive Material.


Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1

Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1


Jokes Of The Day, #2

Jokes Of The Day, #2

Senior Shopping

When I was little my mom would send me to the store with two dollars.

I’d come back with two bags of potatoes, a dozen eggs, a gallon of milk, a sack of flour, a pound of hamburger, and a jar of candy.

You can’t do that these days.

Too many security cameras.


Funny Saying Of The Day

Funny Saying Of The Day


Jokes Of The Day, #3

Jokes Of The Day, #3

Shock The Doc

A family doctor is seeing an 80 year old patient for the first time. She tells him, “Since this is your first time here, I’d like to get a little history on you. Who’s been your regular doctor up till now?”

The man says, “I don’t remember saying I’ve ever been to the doctor.”

The doctor is astonished. “What? You’ve never been to a doctor?”

The man says, “Nope. Never needed one before.”

“That’s remarkable,” she says. “But there must be a family doctor somewhere. What about your father when he was alive. Who was the family doctor?”

“I don’t remember saying my father had passed away.”

“Oh, I’m sorry! You’re father’s still alive? He must be at least a hundred.”

“Yep. ‘Bout that. And he’s never been to the doctor either.”

She says, “Well that’s one impressive bloodline you have there. What an amazing family. But there’s got to be a doctor in the history somewhere. What about your grandfather when he was alive? Who was the family doctor?”

“I don’t remember saying my grandfather had passed away.”

“Oh come on now, you must be kidding! Your grandfather is still alive? He’d have to be at least 120!”

“Yep, ‘Bout that. And he’s never been to the doctor either. But I think he’s gonna have to go soon. He’s getting married next week.”

“What?" she says. "Oh now surely you’re joking. Getting married? Imagine being 120 years old and wanting to get married!”

The old man looks at her and says, “I don’t remember saying he WANTED to get married.”




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Funny Comeback Of The Day

Funny Comeback Of The Day

Opera Audience Member to President Calvin Coolidge:
What do you think of the singer’s execution?

Coolidge:
I’m all for it.


Funny Quote Of The Day

Funny Quote Of The Day

Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
- Winston Churchill


Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

How did I get the nickname 'Thermostat?' My wife turns me down every night.
- Unknown Author


Funny Jokes Of The Day #4:


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