ADVISORY:
The Funny Jokes, Quotes, And Sayings On This Website
Contain Anti-Depressive Material
.

ADVISORY:
These Funny Jokes, Quotes, And Sayings Contain Anti-Depressive Material.


Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1

Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1


Jokes Of The Day, #2

Jokes Of The Day, #2

Minor Surgery

A 5 year old boy and a 4 year old boy are talking. The 4 year old tells the older boy he has to go to the doctors office the next day.

“What for?” asks the older boy.

“Something called circumcision,” says the younger boy.

Oh man,” says the 5 year old. “That’s too bad.”

“Why?” asks the younger boy. “Does it hurt?”

“Does it hurt! They did that to me when I was born, and I couldn’t walk for 12 months!”


Funny Saying Of The Day

Funny Saying Of The Day

Photo submitted by Richard Helm, Savannah GA


Jokes Of The Day, #3

Jokes Of The Day, #3

Coffee Logic

A man and a woman are talking, and she asks, “Do you drink Starbucks?”

He says, “Yeah, I go there a lot.”

She says, “How many times a day?”

He says, “Two or three, probably three. I like a lot of caffeine.”

She says, “What do you get there?”

He says, “Usually a large latte.”

She says, “How much do they cost?”

He says, “I guess about five bucks with a tip.”

She says, “And how many years have you been drinking Starbucks?”

He says, “Maybe 20 years.”

She says, “So you’re spending $15 a day at Starbucks, or $450 a month, or about $5400 a year, right?”

He says, “Right.”

She says, “So over 20 years, not counting inflation, that comes to $108,000, right?”

He says, “Right.”

She says, “Do you know that if instead of buying three lattes a day, you put that money into Starbucks stock instead, today you could have a new Lamborghini and 20 years of gas?”

He says, “Do you drink Starbucks?”

She says, “No.”

He says, “Then where’s your new Lamborghini?”




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Funny Comeback Of The Day

Funny Comeback Of The Day

Comedian John Oliver, the host of “Last Week Tonight,” to Stephen Hawking:
“You’ve stated that there could be an infinite number of parallel universes. Does that mean there’s a universe out there where I am smarter than you?”

Hawking:
“Yes. And also a universe where you’re funny.”


Funny Quote Of The Day

Funny Quote Of The Day

First law on holes - when you're in one, stop digging.
- Denis Healey


Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.
- Woody Allen



Funny Jokes Of The Day #4:

Is this in her online dating profile?

Photo submitted by Richard Helm, Savannah GA


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