ADVISORY:
These Funny Jokes, Quotes, and Sayings
Could Make You Squirt Latte out Your Nose.

ADVISORY:
These Funny Jokes, Quotes, and Sayings Could Make You Squirt Latte out Your Nose.


Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1



Funny Jokes Of The Day, #2

Look Alike

A teenage boy in the grocery store is being followed by a little old lady. She keeps staring at him, and it makes him uncomfortable.

Finally near the checkout area she approaches him.

“I’m sorry to keep staring at you, but you look so much like my son who died in the army. I just can’t help looking at you.”

The boy says it’s okay, and asks her a few things about her son as they wait in line.

The older lady says, “You know, my son always used to say ‘Bye Bye, Mom!’ when I would drop him off at school. I know it’s silly, but if you would say that when I leave the store, I would be so happy.”

He let her go ahead of him through the checkout, and when she was leaving, she turned and waved.

The boy yelled, “Bye Bye, Mom.”

The cashier added up his items and said, “That’ll be $97.40.”

The boy said, “What? I only bought a few things!”

The cashier replied, “I know, but your mom said you were paying for her stuff too.”


Funny Jokes Of The Day, #3

Spy vs Spy

A French spy, a German spy, and an Italian spy are captured. Their hands are bound behind their back and they're interrogated.

After two hours, the French spy reluctantly gives up all his secrets.

After four hours, the German spy tells his captors everything.

But after 24 hours of intense questioning, the Italian still won’t talk and is thrown into a cell with the others. The German and French spies are ashamed but impressed, and ask him how he managed not to talk.

“I wanted to,” the exhausted man replied, “but I couldn’t move my hands.”




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Funny Comeback Of The Day

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.


Funny Quote Of The Day

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.
- Dave Barry


Funny Saying Of The Day

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?


Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

I ran out of candy on Halloween and had to give the kids nicotine gum.
- David Letterman

More Funny Halloween Quotes - click here


Funny Jokes Of The Day, #4:


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