Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1
A teenage boy in the grocery store is being followed by a little old lady. She keeps staring at him, and it makes him uncomfortable.
Finally near the checkout area she approaches him.
“I’m sorry to keep staring at you, but you look so much like my son who died in the army. I just can’t help looking at you.”
The boy says it’s okay, and asks her a few things about her son as they wait in line.
The older lady says, “You know, my son always used to say ‘Bye Bye, Mom!’ when I would drop him off at school. I know it’s silly, but if you would say that when I leave the store, I would be so happy.”
He let her go ahead of him through the checkout, and when she was leaving, she turned and waved.
The boy yelled, “Bye Bye, Mom.”
The cashier added up his items and said, “That’ll be $97.40.”
The boy said, “What? I only bought a few things!”
The cashier replied, “I know, but your mom said you were paying for her stuff too.”
Spy vs Spy
A French spy, a German spy, and an Italian spy are captured. Their hands are bound behind their back and they're interrogated.
After two hours, the French spy reluctantly gives up all his secrets.
After four hours, the German spy tells his captors everything.
But after 24 hours of intense questioning, the Italian still won’t talk and is thrown into a cell with the others. The German and French spies are ashamed but impressed, and ask him how he managed not to talk.
“I wanted to,” the exhausted man replied, “but I couldn’t move my hands.”
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Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.
- Dave Barry
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
I ran out of candy on Halloween and had to give the kids nicotine gum.
- David Letterman
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