ADVISORY:
The Funny Jokes, Quotes, And Sayings On This Website
Contain Anti-Depressive Material
.

ADVISORY:
These Funny Jokes, Quotes, And Sayings Contain Anti-Depressive Material.


Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1

Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1

For good, clean, reality-based fun, you can't beat the news:


Jokes Of The Day, #2

Jokes Of The Day, #2

Three Samurai

At the International Samurai Finals, three worthy candidates remained: a Japanese, a Chinese, and a Jew.

The Japanese Samurai stepped forward, bowed, and released a housefly from his pouch. He raised his sword, and whoosh, cut the airborne fly in half. Very impressive.

The Chinese was next. He opened his pouch, releasing an even smaller fly. As it flew away, his sword moved like lightning. Whoosh, whoosh. He cut the fly in quarters. The crowd roared.

Last but not least came the Jewish Samurai, Obi-Wan Goldberg. He stepped forward, bowed to the judges, and opened his pouch. The smallest housefly yet emerged and began to fly away.

Faster than you can blink, the Jewish Samurai’s sword flashed through the air. But the fly buzzed away. The Obi-Wan Goldberg bowed.

“What was that?” asked the judges. “The fly is not even dead.”

“Dead?” exclaimed Obi-Wan. “Dead is nothing! But circumcised?”


Funny Saying Of The Day

Funny Saying Of The Day


Jokes Of The Day, #3

Jokes Of The Day, #3

Special Delivery

Back in the day, the only doctor in a small rural town was called out in the middle of the night to deliver a baby.

When he arrived, the doctor found only the laboring mother and her six year old daughter, and the electricity wasn’t working.

He asked the young daughter to hold his big flashlight so that he could see to do his work.

The mother delivered a healthy boy, and the doctor gave the new baby a quick spank to help him start breathing.

The six year old daughter, silent this entire time, said, “Hit him again. He shouldn’t have crawled up there in the first place.”

(Submitted by Lisa Scott, Gainesville, USA)



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Funny Comeback Of The Day

Funny Comeback Of The Day

Irritated mother:
“I'm just trying to raise you so that you don't grow up to be ignorant."

Angry daughter:
"Well, I wish Grandma had done the same thing!"


Funny Quote Of The Day

Funny Quote Of The Day

I thought I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it was just some bastard with a torch, bringing me more work.
- David Brent


Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner


Funny Jokes Of The Day #4:

Finally!


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