These Funny Jokes, Quotes, and Sayings could make you squirt latte out your nose.

Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1

Joke Of The Day #2

The Elevator

A man gets on the elevator and sees one other person: a stunning woman, a total knockout. He gives her the once over, then the twice over.

The elevator starts moving, he looks her over again.

She says, “Well I guess I can tell what YOU want.”

He replies, “You’re gorgeous. Of course I want you.”

She says, “I’m on the top floor. If you can make me feel like a woman before we get there, I’ll invite you in.”

The guy scrambles for an idea. Then as fast as he can, he takes off all his clothes. He wads them up, gives them to her and says, “Here, wash these.”

Submitted by JokeQuote reader Lisa Scott, Florida, USA

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Funny Quote Of The Day

If you’ve got nothing on your plate, sometimes crow is good to eat.
- Bowen White

Funny Saying Of The Day

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
- (Unknown Author)

Funny Joke Of The Day #3


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