These Funny Jokes, Quotes, and Sayings
Could Make You Squirt Latte out Your Nose.

These Funny Jokes, Quotes, and Sayings Could Make You Squirt Latte out Your Nose.

Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1

Funny Jokes Of The Day, #2

School Daze

After his first day at school, a boy returns home to find Mom in the kitchen.

"What did they teach you in school today, Honey?”

The boy replies, “Not enough. They told me I have to go back tomorrow.”

Funny Jokes Of The Day, #3

40 Bucks

Every summer Walter and his wife Daisy liked to go to the state fair. And every summer, Walter would tell Daisy how much he wanted to take a biplane ride. But Daisy would always say, “I know Walter, but it costs forty bucks. And forty bucks is forty bucks.”

Finally one summer at the fair, Walter said, “Daisy, I’m getting old, I’m almost 80. If I don’t get to ride in this biplane now, I might not get another chance.”

And Daisy replied, “I know Walter, but it costs forty bucks. And forty bucks is forty bucks.”

The biplane pilot happened to overhear them and said, “You know what, Ma’am, I can tell how much your husband wants to go up in the plane, so I’ll make you a proposition. I’ll give you both a ride. If you can both stay quiet the whole time, the ride is free. But if you make even one sound, the ride is forty bucks apiece.”

Walter and Daisy agreed and up they went. The pilot knew he could get these old folks shrieking with a few maneuvers. So he tried a few steep dives and climbs. But the old folks were amazingly quiet. He went into some loop de loops, some barrel rolls, and everything else he could think of to get them screaming, but to no avail. They were completely silent.

Finally as they landed and taxied, he turned his head and said, “Great job. I’m impressed. I did every trick I could to make you scream, but I never heard a peep. The ride’s on me today.”

Walter replied, “You know, I almost said something when Daisy fell out, but forty bucks is forty bucks.”

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Funny Comeback Of The Day

Man: Your body is like a temple.

Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Funny Quote Of The Day

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
- Billy Crystal

Funny Saying Of The Day

Studies show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25.

Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
- George Carlin

Funny Jokes Of The Day, #4:


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