Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1
A minister, a doctor, and a lawyer are visiting a friend’s open casket in the funeral home.
As they gaze upon their dead friend one last time, the minister opens his wallet, takes out a $50 bill, and places it in the dead man’s suit pocket.
“Why did you do that?” the doctor asks.
“I’ve owed him that money for a long time. This is my last chance to pay him back. It just makes me feel better.”
The doctor then takes out a $100 bill and stuffs it in their friend’s same pocket.
“He lent me $100 last month and I forgot to pay it back. You’re right, I do feel better.”
The lawyer says, “You know, he bought me a $50 dinner last week. The least I can do is pay him back.”
He whips out his checkbook, writes a check for $200, puts in in the dead man’s pocket, takes the out the two bills in change, and puts them in his wallet.
The pessimist says the glass is half empty.
The optimist says the glass is half full.
The bartender says, “Depends on whether you’re drinking or pouring.”
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Reporter to Pope John XXIII:
How many people work at the Vatican?
Pope John XXIII:
Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words.
- Woody Allen
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
- Unknown Author
How come this never happens in my neighborhood?
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