ADVISORY:
The Funny Jokes, Quotes, And Sayings On This Website
Contain Anti-Depressive Material
.

ADVISORY:
These Funny Jokes, Quotes, And Sayings Contain Anti-Depressive Material.


Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1

Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1


Jokes Of The Day, #2

Jokes Of The Day, #2

Fancy Breakfast

The morning before Christmas Santa went to his favorite diner and ordered Eggs Benedict for breakfast.

A few minutes later the waiter came back, carrying his Eggs Benedict in a shiny new hubcap.

Santa was confused. He asked, “Why the hubcap? Why not a plate?”

The waiter said, “Because there’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.”


Funny Saying Of The Day

Funny Saying Of The Day


Jokes Of The Day, #3

Jokes Of The Day, #3

Last Requests

Five political prisoners were scheduled to be hanged in London. They were asked if they had a last wish.

The Scotsman said he would like to play his bagpipes one last time.

The German said he would like to gaze upon the Bavarian Alps one last time.

The Italian said he would like to hear the Pope’s mass in St. Peters Square one last time.

The Frenchman said he would like to visit the red light district in Paris one last time.

The Irishman said he would like to be hanged first so he didn’t have to hear the Scotsman’s bagpipes.




There's more fun below, but first let me ask you:

What would you like to do now?

Enjoy more jokes of the day?
Just scroll down.

Find jokes and quotes by subject?
Check out the left hand column
(Smartphones: click Navigation button)

Preview "Comedy Songs For Smart People"?
Award-winning songs - downloaded over 50,000 times.
Click here to check 'em out




Funny Comeback Of The Day

Funny Comeback Of The Day

Santa to girl on lap:
What would you like for Christmas?

Girl:
A clearer definition of “naughty.”


Funny Quote Of The Day

Funny Quote Of The Day

I’m entrusting my husband with writing the neighbor's Christmas cards because he has a better recollection of who we're fighting with.
- Thrill Tweeter [email protected]_Tweeter


Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

If holidays were superheroes, Hanukkah would be Aquaman.
- Andy Borowitz


Funny Jokes Of The Day #4:


Congratulations!

You’ve stumbled into the most comical collection of funny jokes, funny quotes, and funny sayings on the planet. Think of it as your Gateway to Big Fun.

No need to slog through dozens of joke sites. The best are right here, whenever you need a hit of humor.

WARNING:  The jokes, quotes and sayings on this website exceed humor safety standards and could cause you to squirt latte out your nose.

Scroll up the red column for all the categories of jokes, funny quotes, and funny sayings. (Smartphones: scroll down to see it, or click the Nav button.)

OR - for a list of every page, alphabetized by subject, visit the Sitemap.

Feel free to Share, Tweet, Like, or Comment on this page with the easy buttons below.


LAFOLOGY TIP:

Spice up your week with a healthy dose of comic relief!
Sign up for JokeQuote LAFology:
A monthly email of the best short funny jokes and quotes.

Enter Your E-mail Address
Enter Your First Name (optional)
Then

Don't worry — your e-mail address is totally secure.
I promise to use it only to send you JokeQuote LAFology.


UPDATE:
JokeQuote is growing fast!
Over 5,000 visitors a day in just 4 years online.
Thank you!

ADVERTISING ON JOKEQUOTE
For single or multi-page sponsorships,
Contact me here


Comment ~ Share ~ Like ~ Tweet ~ Follow

Submit your own Joke in the Comment Box

New! Comments

Leave A Note or Share A Joke! All comments are moderated by the Head Lafologist.