Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1
One day the boss asked one of his salesmen, “Do you believe in life after death?”
“Yeah, sure, I guess so,” said the salesman.
“Would you like proof?” asked the boss.
“Okay, sure,” said the salesman.
“Well, yesterday, after you left work to go to your grandfather’s funeral, he stopped by for a visit.”
A woman was following an older man and his “terrible twos” toddler through a grocery store. She felt sorry for the older guy, with the kid wanting everything he saw, and screaming when he didn’t get it.
All through the store the older man stayed calm, talking in a soothing voice: “Easy Joey, not much longer. Come on, Joey. Be cool, Joey.”
Every aisle brought a new tantrum. Still the older man stayed unruffled. “Just a few more minutes, Joey boy. Relax, now, relax. Almost finished.”
She saw them again outside, loading their car, and had to pay the man a compliment.
“Excuse me, I just wanted to say how impressed I am at the calm way you handled little Joey’s tantrums in there. Joey is very lucky to have you.”
“Thanks,” said the older man, “but I’m Joey. This little bastard’s name is Billy.”
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Chris Wallace to conservative writer George Will:
Donald Trump tweeted that you are overrated and lost your way long ago.
He has an advantage on me because he can say everything he knows about any subject in 140 characters, and I can't.
Men like women with a past because they hope history will repeat itself.
- Mae West
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
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