Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1
Three women are waiting to check out of the mental hospital. The doctor brings them into her office and says, “I want to ask you each a simple math question. If you answer it correctly, you can leave the hospital. Okay?”
“Okay,” the patients answer.
“All right, how much is nine times four?”
“2,000!” says the first patient.
“Thursday,” answers the 2nd woman.
“What a dumb question,” says the last woman. "It's 36."
“36 is correct,” says the doctor. “How did you arrive at that answer so fast?”
“Easy,” says the woman. “I just divided 2,000 by Thursday.”
In the animal football game, the little animals are getting creamed by the big animals. It’s 52-0 at halftime.
At the start of the 2nd half, the big animals give the ball to the grizzly bear. Bam! He’s hit for a loss by the millipede.
Next play, they give the ball to the water buffalo. Wham! He’s thrown for another loss by the millipede.
Finally they give the ball to the elephant. Pow! The millipede tackles him for a huge loss.
The squirrel is ecstatic. He grabs the millipede and says, “Incredible! Where were you during the first half?”
The millipede says, “Lacing up my cleats.”
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A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce.
- Don Quinn
I saw a feminist on TV saying if women ruled the world, there’d be no crime, no pollution, no war. I’m thinking, “Great. What if there’s a spider?”
- Livia Squires
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