ADVISORY:
The Funny Jokes, Quotes, And Sayings On This Website
Contain Anti-Depressive Material
.

ADVISORY:
These Funny Jokes, Quotes, And Sayings Contain Anti-Depressive Material.


Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1

Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1

Actual News Story:


Jokes Of The Day, #2

Jokes Of The Day, #2

Marriage Counseling

A man gets on the elevator and sees one other person: a stunning woman. She’s a total knockout. He gives her the once over, then the twice over. The elevator starts moving, he looks her over again.

She says, “Well I guess I can tell what YOU want.”

He replies, “You’re gorgeous. Of course I want you.”

She says, “I’m on the top floor. If you can make me feel like a woman before we get there, I’ll invite you in.”

The guy scrambles for an idea. Then as fast as he can, he takes off all his clothes.

He wads them up, gives them to her and says, “Here, wash these.”

(Sent by JokeQuote reader Lisa Scott, Gainesville, USA)


Funny Saying Of The Day

Funny Saying Of The Day


Jokes Of The Day, #3

Jokes Of The Day, #3

Whirlwind Romance

MICROSOFT: Enter a new password
 
USER: sardines
 
MICROSOFT: Your password must contain more than 8 characters
 
USER: grilled sardines
 
MICROSOFT: Your password must include at least one numerical character
 
USER: 5 grilled sardines
 
MICROSOFT: Your password must not contain blank spaces.
 
USER: 500bloodygrilledsardines
 
MICROSOFT: Your password must include at least 1 upper case character
 
USER: 50BLOODYgrilledsardines
 
MICROSOFT: Your password must not include more than 1 upper case consecutive character
 
USER: 50BloodyGrilledSardinesShovedUpYourButt!
 
MICROSOFT: Your password must not include punctuation
 
USER: ReallyF%#kingPissedOff500GrilledSardinesShovedSoFarUp
YourButtYouCanSmellEm
 
MICROSOFT: That password is already in use.




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Funny Comeback Of The Day

Funny Comeback Of The Day

Howard Cosell to Bob Uecker, during a broadcast:
Uecky, I get your point, but you don’t have to be so truculent. You do know what ‘truculent’ means, don’t you?

Uecker:
Of course, Howard. If you had a truck and I borrowed it, it would be a truck-you-lent.


Funny Quote Of The Day

Funny Quote Of The Day

If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.
- David Brent


Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy.
- Woody Allen


Funny Jokes Of The Day #4:

Actual News Story:


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