Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1
A tornado hit a trailer park in Florida. One older couple were asleep in their beds when the tornado blew their trailer apart. It flew their double bed up in the air, then gently dropped them into the parking lot of a bowling alley and pancake house two miles away.
The wife sat up and began sobbing.
“Don’t cry, Darlene,” said the husband. “It’s okay. We’re not injured.”
“I can’t help it,” she said. “This is the first time in years we’ve gone out together.”
An Irishman, a Scotsman, a Welshman, a Brit, a Canadian, a Kiwi, an Australian, an Italian, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, a Portugese, a Russian, a Latvian, a Pole, a Swede, a Dane, a Finn, a Lithuanian, a Norwegian, an Estonian, a German, a Dutchman, a Belgian, an Austrian, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Czech, a Saudi, an Israeli, a Persian, a Brazilian, an Argentinian, a Serbian, a Croatian, an Albanian, a Greek, a Turk, a Chinese, a Japanese, a Korean, a Laotian, and a Mexican go into a bar.
The bartender says, “Sorry. You can’t get in without a Thai.”
"And we don't take Czechs."
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A House Member, after rubbing Speaker Nicholas Longworth’s bald head:
Nice and smooth. Feels just like my wife’s bottom.
Indeed it does.
Never do today that which will become someone else's responsibility tomorrow.
- David Brent
My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.
- Jack Benny
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