The Funny Jokes, Quotes, And Sayings On This Website
Contain Anti-Depressive Material

These Funny Jokes, Quotes, And Sayings Contain Anti-Depressive Material.

Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1

Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1

Jokes Of The Day, #2

Jokes Of The Day, #2

Minor Surgery

A 5 year old boy and a 4 year old boy are talking. The 4 year old tells the older boy he has to go to the doctors office the next day.

“What for?” asks the older boy.

“Something called circumcision,” says the younger boy.

Oh man,” says the 5 year old. “That’s too bad.”

“Why?” asks the younger boy. “Does it hurt?”

“Does it hurt! They did that to me when I was born, and I couldn’t walk for 12 months!”

Funny Saying Of The Day

Funny Saying Of The Day

Photo submitted by Richard Helm, Savannah GA

Jokes Of The Day, #3

Jokes Of The Day, #3

Coffee Logic

A man and a woman are talking, and she asks, “Do you drink Starbucks?”

He says, “Yeah, I go there a lot.”

She says, “How many times a day?”

He says, “Two or three, probably three. I like a lot of caffeine.”

She says, “What do you get there?”

He says, “Usually a large latte.”

She says, “How much do they cost?”

He says, “I guess about five bucks with a tip.”

She says, “And how many years have you been drinking Starbucks?”

He says, “Maybe 20 years.”

She says, “So you’re spending $15 a day at Starbucks, or $450 a month, or about $5400 a year, right?”

He says, “Right.”

She says, “So over 20 years, not counting inflation, that comes to $108,000, right?”

He says, “Right.”

She says, “Do you know that if instead of buying three lattes a day, you put that money into Starbucks stock instead, today you could have a new Lamborghini and 20 years of gas?”

He says, “Do you drink Starbucks?”

She says, “No.”

He says, “Then where’s your new Lamborghini?”

There's more fun below, but first let me ask you:

What would you like to do now?

Enjoy more jokes of the day?
Just scroll down.

Find jokes and quotes by subject?
Check out the left hand column
(Smartphones: click Navigation button)

Preview "Comedy Songs For Smart People"?
Award-winning songs - downloaded over 50,000 times.
Click here to check 'em out

Funny Comeback Of The Day

Funny Comeback Of The Day

Comedian John Oliver, the host of “Last Week Tonight,” to Stephen Hawking:
“You’ve stated that there could be an infinite number of parallel universes. Does that mean there’s a universe out there where I am smarter than you?”

“Yes. And also a universe where you’re funny.”

Funny Quote Of The Day

Funny Quote Of The Day

First law on holes - when you're in one, stop digging.
- Denis Healey

Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

Funny One-Liner Joke Of The Day

For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.
- Woody Allen

Funny Jokes Of The Day #4:

Is this in her online dating profile?

Photo submitted by Richard Helm, Savannah GA


You’ve stumbled into the most comical collection of funny jokes, funny quotes, and funny sayings on the planet. Think of it as your Gateway to Big Fun.

No need to slog through dozens of joke sites. The best are right here, whenever you need a hit of humor.

WARNING:  The jokes, quotes and sayings on this website exceed humor safety standards and could cause you to squirt latte out your nose.

Scroll up the red column for all the categories of jokes, funny quotes, and funny sayings. (Smartphones: scroll down to see it, or click the Nav button.)

OR - for a list of every page, alphabetized by subject, visit the Sitemap.

Feel free to Share, Tweet, Like, or Comment on this page with the easy buttons below.


Spice up your week with a healthy dose of comic relief!
Sign up for JokeQuote LAFology:
A monthly email of the best short funny jokes and quotes.

Enter Your E-mail Address
Enter Your First Name (optional)

Don't worry — your e-mail address is totally secure.
I promise to use it only to send you JokeQuote LAFology.

JokeQuote is growing fast!
Over 5,000 visitors a day in just 5 years online.
Thank you!

For single or multi-page sponsorships,
Contact me here

New! Comments

Leave A Note or Share A Joke! All comments are moderated by the Head Lafologist.