Funny Jokes Of The Day, #1
A big storm knocked out our electricity last week. For two days we had no TV, no computer, no wifi, no phone, no DVR, nothing.
And the rain was too intense to go outside. No golf or tennis, no yard work.
So I ended up talking to my wife for several hours.
She seems like a nice person.
A guy hurries into a bar and says to the bartender, “Give me four shots of your best single malt. No cheap stuff!”
So the bartender lines up four shots in front of the guy, and he downs them one by one, as fast as humanly possible.
“Jeez, buddy,” says the bartender, “That was fast. What’s the big hurry?”
“You’d be chugging too,” says the guy, “if you had what I have.”
“Oh sorry,” says the bartender. “So what do you have?”
The guy says, “Forty-seven cents.”
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French reporter to Ted Nugent:
What do you suppose the deer is thinking right before you shoot it with your bow?
Well, he’s probably thinking, “I’d like to eat now,” or “I’d like to have sex now,” or “I better run away now.” So he’s a lot like the French.
Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
- Woody Allen
What did the guy from Minnesota say to the Pillsbury Doughboy?
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