Funny Fortune Cookie Sayings

Prediction: these funny fortune cookie sayings will bring smiles all around. You don’t even need to add “in bed” to make them funny.

Inflict these funny sayings and short clean jokes on your dinner guests for a memorable meal. Laughter is the best dessert!


Funny Sayings:
Fortune Cookies, Group 1

1. Some days you are pigeon, some days you are statue. Today, bring umbrella.

2. Your reality check about to bounce.

3. Wise person never try to get even. Wise person get odder.

4. Two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday.

5. Your inferiority complex not good enough. Try harder.

6. When chosen for jury duty, tell judge fortune cookie say “guilty!”

7. Stop eating now. Food poisoning no fun.

8. You are cleverly disguised as responsible adult.



Group 2

9. Tomorrow at breakfast, listen carefully: do what rice krispies tell you to.

10. Drive like hell, you will get there.

11. Person who eat fortune cookie get lousy dessert.

12. Okay to look at past and future. Just don’t stare.

13. Wise person either need good manners or fast reflexes.

14. Soup was secret family recipe made from toad. Hope you liked!

15. You will soon have an out of money experience.

16. Probability of being seen directly proportional to stupidity of act.


Funny Fortune Cookie
Sayings, Group 3

17. He who dies with most toys, still dies.

18. Person who rests on laurels gets thorn in backside.

19. Practice safe eating. Always use condiments.

20. Person who give self haircut after rice wine will be buzzed.

21. Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

22. Hard work pay off in future. Laziness pay off now.

23. Life is sexually transmitted condition.



Group 4

24. Give person fish, he eat for day. Teach person to fish, he always smell funny.

25. Person who argue with idiot is taken for fool.

26. Look before you leap. Or wear a parachute.

27. The end is near, might as well have dessert.

28. This fortune no good. Try another.

29. Of all 27 alternatives, running away is best.

30. Closed mouth gathers no feet.

31. Honeymoon should be like table: 4 bare legs, no drawers.

32. Wise husband is one who thinks twice before saying nothing.


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