30th Birthday Jokes
Happy MirthDay!

30th Birthday Jokes -
Happy MirthDay!

30th birthday jokes so you can laugh about it, not think about it. Because 30 is way too young to have a thinkin’ problem. Funny quotations and more hilarious stuff to keep your funnybone toned and stay young forever.

Links to LOTS more birthday humor at bottom.
Share your own joke or feedback in the Comment box.


30th Birthday Jokes:
One-Liners

Life not only begins at 30, it begins to show.

One good thing about turning 30: you’re not turning 40.

Thirty really sneaks up on you – kinda like a thong.
- Melanie White

At thirty you can get flirty without being dirty.
- Greg Tamblyn

Everyone says 30-year-olds should settle down. I think I’ve just settled.
- Melanie White


30th Birthday Quotes

Being 30 is no joke, but it can be a lot of laughs.
- Melanie White

I remember the good old days when I was 30, and all my kids were shorter than me.
- Melanie White

30 isn’t old. It’s a young mature.
- Melanie White

Being 30 isn’t so bad. At least your car insurance premiums go down.
- Melanie White

Turning 30? Look on the bright side. You’re still too young to be president.
- Melanie White

Don’t worry about being 30. You’ll get over it within a decade.
- Melanie White


More 30th Birthday Quotes

30 isn’t over the hill, it’s more of a plateau, with a bright light way off in the distance...
- Melanie White

30 is a nice round number. Let’s just hope it doesn’t correspond to your figure.
- Melanie White

There used to be a show called 30 Something, and if you can remember it, you’re way past it.
- Melanie White

When you turn 21 you finally experience the freedom of full throttle. If you make it to 30, it means you’ve discovered there’s a brake pedal too.
- Greg Tamblyn

Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
- Robert Frost

I was thirty-two when I started cooking. Up until then, I just ate.
- Julia Child


30th Birthday Jokes:
Communication

A woman was a little emotional about turning 30. Any sign of advancing age was cause for upset.

One day she noticed a gray hair in her bangs. She turned to her husband, pointed to her forehead, and said, “Have you seen this?”

“What?” he said. "You mean the wrinkles?”



More 30th Birthday Jokes:
Funny Quotations

Doctors tell me I have the body of a thirty year old. I know I have the brain of a fifteen year old. If you've got both, you can play baseball.
- Pete Rose

The epitaphs on tombstones of a great many people should read: Died at thirty, and buried at sixty.
- Nicholas Murray Butler

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
- Caryn Leschen

Thirties? More like the “hurties.” Strange little pains that somehow invade your knees, back and occasionally your digestive system. They seem to be immune to prayer and wishful thinking.
- Anonymous

Very few people do anything creative after the age of thirty-five. The reason is that very few people do anything creative before the age of thirty-five.
- Joel Hildebrand


30th Birthday Jokes:
More Funny Quotations

When I got into my 30s, and especially when I became a parent, my concept of “fun” changed, becoming less likely to involve people getting high or hammered or naked, and more likely to involve balloon animals.
Dave Barry

I have never admitted that I am more than twenty-nine, or thirty at the most. Twenty-nine when there are pink shades, thirty when there are not.
Oscar Wilde

If ye live enough befure thirty ye won't care to live at all afther fifty.
Finley Peter Dunne

Oh, how I regret not having worn a bikini for the entire year I was twenty-six. If anyone young is reading this, go, right this minute, put on a bikini, and don't take it off until you're thirty-four.
- Nora Ephron

I thought when my kids got to twenty-one, that would be it, you know? They'd be out the door. We'd never have to worry about them again. But I have a thirty-two-year-old, and I still worry about him like he's a little boy.
- Sting

I don’t feel any different now that I’m 30 – maybe a little more winded after blowing out all my candles.
- Melanie White


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