Funny Love Sayings

Funny Love Sayings

Funny love sayings. Lubrication for love situations. Levity for your love life. Humor quotes and more funny stuff. Like The Beatles said, "All You Need Is Love Jokes."

Lots more Love humor here - links at the bottom.

Funny Sayings:
"Love," Group 1

He who falls in love with himself will have no rivals.

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

Man rules the roost. Woman rules the rooster.

If love is blind, then marriage is a real eye opener.

Love is metaphysical gravity.

Love wouldn't be blind if the Braille weren't so much fun.

Love is what makes two people sit in the middle of a bench when there is plenty of room at both ends.

The key to love is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

Humor Quotes: "Love"
Group 2

The last time I saw him he was walking down lovers lane holding his own hand.
- Fred Allen

Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.
- Mae West

It's better to have loved and lost than do forty pounds of laundry a week.
- Salvadore Dali

Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy.
- Henry Kissinger

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
- Woody Allen

Love in the Latin Language: Amo, Amas, Amtrack. “I love, You love, My baby left on the midnight train.”
- Greg Tamblyn

Turns out trying to get some sleep by telling an angry lover "Silence village idiot!" has the opposite effect.
- Kelkulus  @Kelkulus

Falling in love is a high-octane endocrine hormone cocktail.
- John Bradshaw

Funny Stuff
"Love," Group 3

Love is the one solution that will dissolve negativity. Of this I am positive.
- Swami Beyondananda (Steve Bhaerman)

Love is temporary insanity. Hate is eternal madness.
- NoLuckWanted ‏@NoLuckWanted

Love means never having to say "I'm sorry I ate your sandwich."
- Earthman Adam ‏@AdamOfEarth

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
- Walt Disney

Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull.
- H. L. Mencken

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham

Love thy neighbor - and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.
- Mae West

Love is an ocean of emotion entirely surrounded by expenses.
- Sir Thomas Robert Dewar

Funny Love Sayings
Group 4

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.
- Judith Viorst

Love is a crocodile in the river of desire.
- Bhartṛhari, Śatakatraya, 5th century

Love is the only disease that makes you feel better.
- (attributed to Sam Shepard)

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
- Lily Tomlin

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
- Woody Allen

Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.
- Christopher Marlowe

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
- Rita Rudner

To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia.
- H. L. Mencken

The head never rules the heart, but just becomes its partner in crime.
- Mignon McLaughlin

A Message From JokeQuote's Greg Tamblyn:

Learn Secrets Most Men Will Never Know
About Women and Dating

“Guys, this is no joke. Dating Mastery has helped me meet and attract some of the coolest women you can imagine. One is a former Miss Indiana from the Miss America pageant. We dated for five years. Another is a stunning doctor from France. (And I’m an average looking guy.)

This is the best dating advice I've ever seen, and right now it’s FREE!”

$685 Holiday Gift For You - Free!

David DeAngelo, the author of “Double Your Dating,” wants to wish you very happy holidays!
To celebrate, he’s put together a mind-blowing FREE gift package especially for YOU...
David handpicked 3 of his most powerful training programs… each one dedicated to making YOUR dreams of success with women, dating, and relationships come true in 2017.
To get them all, watch this new video that David made for you:
VIDEO: $685 Holiday gifts from David D.
Check it out now, and enjoy the gifts!
- Greg
P.S. Due to the nature of some of these gifts, David can only offer them until midnight on December 31st. Get your gift now before it’s too late…

New! Comments

Leave A Note or Share A Joke! All comments are moderated by the Head Lafologist.

More like this? Go here:

Cute Love Sayings and Quotes

Funny Quotes About Men

Hilarious Quotes About Women

Or back:

Return from "Funny Love Sayings" to "Cute Quotes: Men, Women, Love Marriage, etc."

Return to the Home Page: "Funny Quotes, Funny Jokes, Funny Sayings"